Sunday, September 11, 2011

Thoughts on Fatherhood


I awoke this morning thinking about my son Daniel and his new little girl, Rachel Lily.  Then I thought about Daniel and Ella, his first daughter, who is not yet two!  I don't think that there has been a single other thing in the past two years that has brought me more joy and peace than seeing how he loves and cares for his little girls.  I just keep thinking that it is so reflective of the God the Father's love for each of us, his specially selected children.  Daniel is a godly man so I guess I should not be surprised.  So warm so deep is his affection for them and for his wife, their mother. 

I had a loving father, although, the culture and times of my childhood did not encourage the same kind of touch and affection I see in my son and his daughters.  But my daddy loved me.  Felix was a quiet man for the most part, looked serious and shy to the world, with exception of his work place world.  That was a construction site full of very "Manly" type men who were strong, hardworking, steel workers and heavy construction workers.  The California Freeway system turned out to be the product of their work in the 50's and 60's.  I was the oldest and had no brothers, so I was kind of his substitute son.  He tried to teach me about cars, like how to fix them, but failed in that effort.  He didn't fail, I just wasn't very interested.  So I was his strong, first born, daughter.  Now driving was a different story, I loved that and did not mind being my mom and sisters chauffeur during the week when he was absent.  My dad made me laugh, he could be very funny, and loved to sing.  Especially after a few beers. 

This photo of Daddy is one of my favorites.  He was lovingly holding my little Sara at a family reunion because she was afraid of the dog that was wandering around.  You can see she felt that security of being in a strong grandpa's arms.  That is that same sense of security we receive from the Father. 
My late husband Phillip simply loved both his children.  He adored them and bragged about their sports endeavors.  He was so proud of them and always thought about what would make them happy and successful in life.  Sadly, he died too soon.  God provides others when he sees the need and he has done that for Sara as well as for Daniel.  My pastor, Fr. Bruce has provided some support and our friend Rev. Roger Bradley has become a kind of father/grandfather figure to Sara and there have been several clergy around whom Daniel spent his days in Fresno who filled in some important fatherly roles.
 
I believe that father figures, really good ones, are not just given that role for their personal offspring.  I find myself being a mother in Christ to younger women and girls, even a few boys and so it makes sense that men may be called to become fathers in Christ to others.   Last week we lost one of those men.  Our Brother Larry Holsenbake died after a battle with cancer.  In those approximate 9 months of struggle, we prayed and loved and shared Christ's love with him and with his family.  We became stronger and better brothers and sisters because of the struggle and finally the loss.

Larry had been a father figure for years, not only to his own children but others.  He had been a been school teacher who had made a favorable impact on students, parents and co-workers for many years.  In the very short time that my daughter knew him she had grown to love him as one of the fathers in Christ in our congregation.  You see, our congregation at Christ Church really is a family.  She lives in the Los Angeles area, but she had been praying for him and keeps up with what is happening.  When she heard he had gone to join our The Father in heaven, she cried and said, well I must come for the service Saturday.  I share this with you because I think it such an example of how a man like Larry, probably without even thinking about it or planning it, was fulfulling a service for our Lord most of his life, by giving of himself in relationships and mentoring.  

Not too long ago, our friend and brother, Fr. Jeff Sampson, also died of cancer.  This was a very, very difficult loss for most of us and we are still mourning him.  At his Requium Mass, his sons had opportunity to testify to the love they received from their father, all of their lives.  His daughters and daughters-in-law felt the same love.  They attribute their complete commitment to the Lord and their Christian lives to Fr. Jeff's lifelong teaching and example as well as his Godly love.  It was such a moving tribute that I know for a fact that there were several men, clergy included, who vowed to go and make sure they would give all they had to share with their own children and grandchildren.  A tribute to a father, famous or not, was never more moving than what was shared that day.  And I know that Fr. Jeff also fathered many others, outside his personal family. 

We thank you O LORD for giving us such a wonderful example of a Godly Husband, Father and Brother in Larry Holsenbake and in Fr. Jeff Sampson.  We joyfully await being reunited with you and we love you.