Persecution of the Faithful

I am posting this blog because for three weeks I have had this prophetic dream on my mind.  The Lord has impressed on me that I must share it......and I have dragged my fingers away from the computer in resistance.  I have orally shared it with some folks, and first of all I sought out some with prophetic giftings for help in interpreting what it may mean.  Today I will share this dream because after praying I sincerely believe I am supposed to share it with those who will listen.

In the dream, I was standing outdoors with someone very close to me, but who was standing behind me.  I was comfortable and secure and never had fear.  This person I believe was Christ and we were observing the scene together.  We were not in the U.S. but I think in Israel, although all I saw was this huge airfield, I simply sensed it was Israel.  A plane landed in front of us and I believe we were facing the East.  The plane was being unloaded in front of us and contained huge packages of clear plastic through which we could see bodies.  The dead bodies had been cut up very carefully, but sliced in chunks, like huge tuna fish packages.  They were not recognizable in their cut up state, but each had the name of the person whose parts were contained within.  I knew they were missionaries and my first thought was, "Oh my, the war has really started!"  Persecution of the Christians, the Faithful Christians has begun.  I actually recognized a couple of names and the bodies were of missionaries from the East and Africa.  It was troubling and so sad.  Looking at the bodies was sad perhaps because I had the impression it was not unexpected and I was calm. 

We did not speak with words, but we were thinking alike and awed by the sadness.  Then another plane came from the West.  It came from the Americas.  We turned around to see that once again, bodies were being unloaded and once again they were cut up neatly and precisely and filleted like fish.  Again names were written on strips stuck to the plastic bags in which they were delivered.  But this time the names were of many clergy that I know or have known personally.  A couple were at one time local to our diocese but have been called to serve elsewhere.  Their names and their wives names were stuck on their bags.  Then I began to recognize others who are closer to home and all of them  were clergy,  some with spouse's names.  This was more stressful to see, but once again, I was not afraid, only filled with compassion and sadness.  We did not scream or cry for them because it was only their bodies we saw, knowing their Spirits had continued onto the other side of the Kingdom. 

Some of the thoughts that were going through my mind in the dream included that there would be more, that we were being persecuted, much like in the Holocost round-ups of the Jews and that terrorists were involved.  That this was expected was on my mind, that it was sad and horrible, was on my mind, but that these were the remains of the faithful was most clear. 

In analyzing and praying over this dream I feel I need to share that the names of those I recognized was not for the purpose of thinking that is how they will personally end up in chunks!  No, I believe it was to point out that the faithful leadership, the shepherds, the apostles so to speak, will be attacked and are attacked first and most severly.  You will remember that except for St. John, all of the apostles died martyrs. 

My role in this dream was as that of an observer, an intercessor.  That seems to be my usual role in these dreams.  I will tell you this, since I had this dream, I have taken on my intercessory prayers with more compassion and depth.  I have been drawn to spend more time in prayer for our Christian family, for our clergy, for all missionaries, and especially for those who are sufferinig persecution.  My eyes are wet almost all the time now. 

I hope that sharing this prophetic dream with you will have an effect on you as well.  I believe we are being told that if we have the heart and the ears to hear, we will prepare and be ready.  Stand firm in your faith because as you know, the last battles are already started.

Amen

In Defense of Telenovelas

For those of you who do not know what a telenovela is, let me begin by explaining that it is a Spanish television version of a soap opera.  There are many going on all day long on any of a variety of Spanish television stations here in the U.S.  They don't continue on for years, like American soaps do, they usually end in about 3 months or so.  Sometimes the story is a historical novela with lovely costumes and settings but whether the story is set in the past or modern times, they always have the same underlying themes.

There is always a conflict between the rich priviledged class and the poor working class.  The main romance in the story always takes one character from each class, making love all the more complicated!  There is always an extremely evil person, or several evil persons, but one or two are the most evil person you may think you have ever seen.  Evil is motivated by selfishness in the extreme and the evil person will go to any extreme to get what they want, deceit and murder topping the list.  To me, some of the evil characters have been written as the embodiment of Satan himself.  It takes a really good actor to pull it off.  Some actors are just so good at being so evil.

Of course, there is always a sweet demure female and an extremely good looking male in leading roles.  Oh yes, there is also a great cast of characters who take you on lots of little side stories so that you get to know each one's strengths and weaknesses.  Pretty soon these characters will begin to seem like real people who have now entered into your circle of acquaintances.  There are some women who just are so good at crying that I usually see them in the role of a woman who suffers and cries quite a bit.  Recently I saw an article about the telenovelas that spoke about how now the male actors are expected to show more emotion and tears.  I had just been noticing that myself and wondered about it.  I suppose it is because today we want men to be more sensitive and show emotion, even tears.  The entire story is always full of misunderstandings and jumping to conclusions, just like in real life.  The human condition is universal and multicultural, and it is always the same, regardless of historical time frame. 

Often a priest will be a main character and in all stories, there is always reference to church, or frequent visits to a Virgin of Guadalupe shrine for prayers and petitions.  The stories always involve family complications of life.  The strength of the family is always emphasized and often really wonderful unity is around someone being hurt or falling gravely ill.  There are always frequent hospital scenes.  There are always mothers, grandmother and grandfather characters, many of whom are full of wisdom and advice that they give to the other characters in the story.  The one I am watching right now has a lovely heavy set grandmother, so full of kindness and wisdom, who is actually falling in love with a wise grandfather type.  They are so cute!  Gives me hope! 

The novelas have some very good purposes.  I know, I get lots of teasing and flack for watching at least one novela, but they helped me learn quite a bit.  First of all, it challenges me to understand Spanish better.  Often I learn new words and through the context I learn how they might be used.  My mom and I used to compare notes on what we were watching.  Second, I get to see what is perceived as traditional Hispanic lifestyle and family dynamics, something I can relate to from when I was a child.  My life with my own immediate family was a blend of Marker/Rodriguez, kind of German/Mexican?  We used to laugh and say that our family culture was Californian Multi-cultural and quite normal for our time.  But seriously, if you have many Hispanic families around you and who are your friends, knowing what the Hispanic culture is like is a benefit. 

In spite of all the worldliness and sexy, worldly themes in these novelas, they still reflect the culture.  I don't like many of them because they are too young, too worldly, but I just love the romantic ones like the ones I described above.   Children in Spanish speaking homes often see novelas.  You might think that is terrible TV for them, but are English TV shows teaching better morals and values?  I doubt it.  But they are watching with their parents, which is a nice thing and it too will help them retain their Spanish language.  I once actually used the novela to explain some literary features to some "totally bored" 5th graders.  I asked them how many saw a certain novela, lots of hands went up and their eyes got huge when they discovered I watched it too.  We then returned to the topic we were looking at, "climax."  I was so pleased, they got it and it "was now fun."

So there you have it!  I watch novelas because I like studying the humans, I feel I improve my Spanish and also learn to understand more dialects and different accents, I love good romance stories and I like historical novels.  I like the passion with which each character is developed and if I don't like a story, if it is too offensive in some way, I can just click it off or choose another.  By the way, I record each one on my DVR, just in case you call me or I have to attend to something, I can go back and catch up!!  Technology is on my side.

Blessings, Jeannee

Thoughts on Fatherhood

I awoke this morning thinking about my son Daniel and his new little girl, Rachel Lily.  Then I thought about Daniel and Ella, his first daughter, who is not yet two!  I don't think that there has been a single other thing in the past two years that has brought me more joy and peace than seeing how he loves and cares for his little girls.  I just keep thinking that it is so reflective of the God the Father's love for each of us, his specially selected children.  Daniel is a godly man so I guess I should not be surprised.  So warm so deep is his affection for them and for his wife, their mother. 

I had a loving father, although, the culture and times of my childhood did not encourage the same kind of touch and affection I see in my son and his daughters.  But my daddy loved me.  Felix was a quiet man for the most part, looked serious and shy to the world, with exception of his work place world.  That was a construction site full of very "Manly" type men who were strong, hardworking, steel workers and heavy construction workers.  The California Freeway system turned out to be the product of their work in the 50's and 60's.  I was the oldest and had no brothers, so I was kind of his substitute son.  He tried to teach me about cars, like how to fix them, but failed in that effort.  He didn't fail, I just wasn't very interested.  So I was his strong, first born, daughter.  Now driving was a different story, I loved that and did not mind being my mom and sisters chauffeur during the week when he was absent.  My dad made me laugh, he could be very funny, and loved to sing.  Especially after a few beers. 

This photo of Daddy is one of my favorites.  He was lovingly holding my little Sara at a family reunion because she was afraid of the dog that was wandering around.  You can see she felt that security of being in a strong grandpa's arms.  That is that same sense of security we receive from the Father. 

My late husband Phillip simply loved both his children.  He adored them and bragged about their sports endeavors.  He was so proud of them and always thought about what would make them happy and successful in life.  Sadly, he died too soon.  God provides others when he sees the need and he has done that for Sara as well as for Daniel.  My pastor, Fr. Bruce has provided some support and our friend Rev. Roger Bradley has become a kind of father/grandfather figure to Sara and there have been several clergy around whom Daniel spent his days in Fresno who filled in some important fatherly roles.

 

I believe that father figures, really good ones, are not just given that role for their personal offspring.  I find myself being a mother in Christ to younger women and girls, even a few boys and so it makes sense that men may be called to become fathers in Christ to others.   Last week we lost one of those men.  Our Brother Larry Holsenbake died after a battle with cancer.  In those approximate 9 months of struggle, we prayed and loved and shared Christ's love with him and with his family.  We became stronger and better brothers and sisters because of the struggle and finally the loss.

Larry had been a father figure for years, not only to his own children but others.  He had been a been school teacher who had made a favorable impact on students, parents and co-workers for many years.  In the very short time that my daughter knew him she had grown to love him as one of the fathers in Christ in our congregation.  You see, our congregation at Christ Church really is a family.  She lives in the Los Angeles area, but she had been praying for him and keeps up with what is happening.  When she heard he had gone to join our The Father in heaven, she cried and said, well I must come for the service Saturday.  I share this with you because I think it such an example of how a man like Larry, probably without even thinking about it or planning it, was fulfulling a service for our Lord most of his life, by giving of himself in relationships and mentoring.  

Not too long ago, our friend and brother, Fr. Jeff Sampson, also died of cancer.  This was a very, very difficult loss for most of us and we are still mourning him.  At his Requium Mass, his sons had opportunity to testify to the love they received from their father, all of their lives.  His daughters and daughters-in-law felt the same love.  They attribute their complete commitment to the Lord and their Christian lives to Fr. Jeff's lifelong teaching and example as well as his Godly love.  It was such a moving tribute that I know for a fact that there were several men, clergy included, who vowed to go and make sure they would give all they had to share with their own children and grandchildren.  A tribute to a father, famous or not, was never more moving than what was shared that day.  And I know that Fr. Jeff also fathered many others, outside his personal family. 

We thank you O LORD for giving us such a wonderful example of a Godly Husband, Father and Brother in Larry Holsenbake and in Fr. Jeff Sampson.  We joyfully await being reunited with you and we love you.

Sunday at the Museum

Chicago Art Institute

Introduction

 I had a wonderful weekend when I went to Chicago to attend a conference on Hispanic Ministry last week.  This was my very first trip to Chicago.  The conference was an Anglican 1000 conference, if you are an Anglican and are familiar with that program you will know that it was very important and meaningful for me.  Perhaps I will share some insights from the conference on another day.

What I want to share with you today is what I did on Sunday.  Sunday is, for sure, the Lord's Day in the Marker household, meaning the day we go to church no matter where we may be.  On this particular day, I decided not to go to Sunday Worship somewhere in Chicago, but instead I asked the Lord to bless me and speak to me in the Art Museum.  So the Holy Spirit and I went on an adventurous train ride from O'Hare to downtown Chicago and walked a few blocks to the Chicago Art Institute.  Trains are fun because you can pray for people around you without them even having to know you are blessing them!

I did indeed have a wonderful day seeing paintings up close that I have only seen in books and other visual media.  I love to see and study great works of art and in the past I spent many hours at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art in my young days, as well as other smaller museums.  When we visited Madrid, Spain I spent 3 days at the Prado and half a day at the Picasso Museum.  All those wonderful masterpieces by so many including Velasquez, El Greco, and of course, Goya.  Oh how I loved spending time with Goya.

Chicago Art Institute

Well, about Chicago.  The museum is lovely and has so, so much wonderful art within its walls.  I want to return to Chicago someday just to go to museums because there are many in this city and I only saw maybe one third of this one!  I had never seen so many Impressionists in one place.  I like to get up close and see brush strokes, but if you do, you miss the whole picture because it must be seen from a distance.  I asked the Lord what he wanted me to learn from what I saw and he said, "Look at all the little brush strokes, all the bits of color, each masterfully placed on the canvas, even though it looks so random.  That is how I created my church, that is how it all comes together as a hand selected, chosen and created masterpiece.  I am the Master and Creator."  Then He told me to consider all the strokes of the masterpieces I saw and think of the individual people in my Christian community and remember that all together we are what the world sees as his family.  Sometimes individually we don't look like much to each other but when seen from a few steps back, like these pictures, we are beautiful and lovingly created as a family.

I saw many Renoir, Degas, Gauguin, Manet and Monet, as well as dear Vincent Van of Gogh paintings.  Then I moved along to many other masterpieces, some by Rembrandt, and even some Spanish painters and all my favorite Flemish painters as well.  Then suddenly I came face to face with the painting I had been specifically brought to see this day.  This one I had never seen in my life!  I stood in front of The Repentance of St. Peter by Jusepe de Ribera, who I believe was a Spanish painter who painted with the Italian painters of his period.

I was so taken in that I literally sat in front of the painting with my eyes glued to St. Peter's face.  I felt as if I was right there with him in his repentance.  I felt as if I was looking through his eyes at Jesus, begging not only forgiveness but for mercy and restoration.  Scripture tells us that St. Peter had been confused by Satan as Jesus Christ had told him he would be when he denied him three times.  When that cock crowed after the third time, he knew what he had done and wept bitterly before God.  Tradition says that for the rest of his life, every time St. Peter heard a cock crow, he would weep.  And that is what I found happening to me, I wept and wept quietly from my left eye.  First I felt his remorse but then I also felt a sense of compassion, just a taste of what I can only imagine the Father felt as well. St. Peter had failings but he loved God.  His faith had failed him but he did not lose faith in God's mercy.  That is why these things are recorded, so that we too will remember to have faith in God's mercy in our times of need and failings.

I sat in front of that painting for probably 15 minutes.  When I finally came to the point of realizing I should move along, all the people who were in that room had changed, which is one way I know for sure I had been there quite a while.  All day I had been talking to the Lord about various paintings we saw together but this was the most wonderful supernatural experience I had all day.  How wonderful it is to be able to see the fruits of the gifts God gave to those who have lived before us.  You know they are really gifts that can still produce spiritual fruits, as this one did for me. 

A Parting Thought

Well, I missed the one painting I would have liked to see "in person";  American Gothic by Grant Wood as seen below.  It was just too far away and I had been in the museum for 6 hours and could not make my way to yet another building.  Now you might wonder why this painting was so fascinating to me.  I have also added a photo of Fr. Bruce Taylor and myself at Christ Church, in Lemoore, CA.  My kids, Sara and Daniel Marker like to make fun of the photo saying we remind them of American Gothic.  What do you think? 

 



American Gothic is supposed to represent an upright hardworking couple.  Many say they are religious and serious with little joy showing forth on their faces.  People read all kinds of things into their faces.  American Gothic was painted 80+ years ago so I suppose they were upright for their time and season.  I think we are upright and hardworking in God's vineyard for our day and season.  

Much love and God's Peace to all of you!  Jeannee

Sisters (Part 1)

Evelyn and Elsie Maytorena

These two pretty ladies happen to be sisters, and they happen to be my grandmother and great-aunt.  The taller one on the left is my grandmother, Grandma Lyn.  When I was little we called her Grandma Lina (Leena) because everyone called her Lina. I never even knew her real name was Evelyn until I was about 6 and I was helping pass out the Christmas gifts and the tag I read said "To Evelyn."  I didn't see anyone new around named Evelyn so I innocently said, "Oh, I guess she is not here."  Everyone laughed at me because I did not recognize the name of the woman I revered and loved more than any other woman, my Grandma Lina!  But grandma took me in her arms and said, yes, my real name is Evelina, or Evelyn in English. 

In the photo you might notice the stylish dresses they are wearing.  Grandma told me that they used to sew dresses for ladies in town when they were young.  They would travel on the bus from Santa Paula to Los Angeles, to buy fabrics and threads and then return to make dresses to sell.  They were very creative and used magazines to see what the latest styles were.  No patterns needed, they were seamstresses!

My Grandma was the younger sister.  We saw Tia Licha (everyone always had a nickname) every once in a while because it seemed she always lived far away (like in Gilroy) on some ranch with her husband and busy family.  I remember her husband was kind of mean looking and yet kind of handsome because he had very black wavy hair, but he was very dark skinned and looked more Native American than Mexican.  Well, they said he was half Apache (for real) and I believe it because many years later I lived for a short time in Arizona on the Reservation, and I always saw men who looked exactly like Tio Alonzo.  He and his boys were rough and rowdy drinking men, so I was kind of afraid of them. 

Grandma was married to a poor man too, but he was a pentecostal preacher, who traveled around to different churches, spreading the Gospel.  We also lived in the Los Angeles area and not the country.  Clearly these sisters lived very different lives.  But for better or worse, sisters tied together forever.    All of the experiences and the memories of those developmental years and the sharing of that Mommy and Daddy cannot be shared with anyone else like with a sister. 

My grandmother loved her sister very deeply.  They wrote to each other regularly and Grandma prayed for Tia Licha all the time.  I very clearly remember her praying for Tia's health, children, grandchildren and husband.  Her life was hard and poor.  Grandma always spoke to her about the Lord.  I remember when Tia Licha died and my grandmother's eyes were so sad , I wanted to be able to take away the hurt.  But I learned that day that she was also comforted that her sweet sister was at peace and that the hurt would lessen with time.

Sisterhood seems to skip a generation in our family.  My mother had no siblings at all and wanted so much to have sisters so she tried to substitute some cousins for sisters.  I have a sister who I will talk about in another sister blog.  My daughter Sara would have loved to have a sister to share growing up and life with but I have heard her say that her sister-in-law, Lana, is the sister she always wanted.   She loves her very much. 

Yesterday, my sister, Delilah, who is always thinking of others before herself, sent me a birthday card with a sweet message. 

Knowing we would share the special kind of closeness

and connection that will last until the end to time,

God made us sisters...

I will always be grateful to Him for you.

I share that sentiment about her and I believe that Evelyn and Elsie Maytorena, were also grateful to God for each other.  Except that I am happier knowing that the connection will last beyond the end of time on this earth and forevermore right into eternity!  Like my grandmother, I pray for my sister's health, her well being, her happiness and our relationships with the Lord.  I Thank you Lord for my sister and for my grandmother's simple example of how to be a sister.  

 

God's Bread Box

Proverbs 22:9
A generous man will himself be blessed, for he shares his food with the poor.

 This past Saturday, God's Bread Box completed its first food distribution in Lemoore, California.

God's Bread Box is an IRS approved non-profit organization dedicated to helping provide food for the poor.  The decision to follow God's command and to feed the poor began  over a year ago by a group of women who were attending a Bible Study each week.  The research, planning, paperwork and formation as a non-profit community project took quite a while but the potential and evidence of need is obvious.  The big blue banner was hung from the top of the garage so that it would be visible from the street on the other side of the church parking lot. 



The physical work for Saturday began on Friday when some strong angelic volunteers drove to The Fresno Food Bank to bring the first load of purchased food.  The unloading and unpacking got underway with the help of a great many volunteers.   We made up the boxes and volunteers filled them and arranged them ready for pick up on Saturday.  As I recall, the only things missing from the boxes were the cold perishable items, chicken and cheese.   Those items were placed on top on Saturday morning just prior to pick up.  By the way, most of the lifting and packing was done by high school volunteers from Lemoore High School, including the cheer leaders, who have taken on this project for the year. 

Filled boxes without the frozen and cold stuff, including fresh fruit.

Praise God, we planned for about 135 families and The Lord provided boxes for almost 155 families!  There were many new families who registered on Saturday, but the greater number of over one hundred pre-registered two weeks before.  Just as I was telling the last two women who came to sign up that there were no more boxes left, someone came up and said, "Hey, here are two more!"  No one could explain exactly how those last two boxes appeared but I am pretty sure we all know that miracles still happen and the two women who took those last two boxes claimed they knew that they had been given special favor from above and that their angels had made sure the boxes reached them.  They left glassy eyed and I was joyfully misty as well! 

Some came to register for benefits, others lined up ready to pick up boxes.

I have many more photos I could have posted, but I decided not to post too many with the faces of the volunteers because we are all involved to serve the community and to serve Jesus.  It is not about us, it is about serving Him. 

So, I will take this opportunity to invite you to help provide food for this cause.  There are two agencies beside this one providing food to the needy in Lemoore.  Lemoore Christian Aid who are able to help a family only once every six months and LifeWay Church which distributes USDA commodities every month to the 250 plus families who financially qualify.  The mission of God's Bread Box is to supplement these agencies by raising money through food grants and corporate or private donations.  These donations will be used to buy quality foods from the Fresno Food Bank and/or Kings County Food Bank.  We are able to purchase food  at phenomenally low prices and then box and distribute it once a month.  So far we have raised approximately what we need for half of a year.  I invite you to send a small or large donation.  $12 will pay for one month distribution for one family, or $144 will provide a family distribution for one year.  All donations are tax deductible and you will receive a receipt for any amount.  God's Bread Box, 740 N. 19th Ave., Lemoore, CA  93245

Love and blessings, Jeannee

Proverbs 22:9

A generous man will himself be blessed, for he shares his food with the poor.
. 

An introduction

Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk

 in the light of your presence, O LORD.  Psalm 89:15

There are several verses in Holy Scripture that speak to walking in the light of The Lord.  That is how I see myself, how I strive to live my life, by walking in front of the Lord as He illuminates my path before me.  I am an ordinary person, a humble woman who He selected to walk apart as his servant and handmaiden.  I relish the fact that he did choose me before the creation of the world to live the path he chose for me in this wonderful time and season.  He blessed me with a loving family, children and now grandchildren.  He also blessed me with so many friends and relatives, all dear and loved and yet if I should feel lonely, He is there as my most important significant other to love and calm and fulfill me.  Although living in this world is not easy and for the faint at heart, He alone gives me the strength, courage and means by which to serve him.  On occasion I may wander a little to left or right of the light, but it doesn't take long for me to feel his gentle tug or push into the narrow path of his loving and warm light ahead.  He is a gentle, loving and joyful Master who has an amazing sense of humor and who provides me with JOY for life.  I don't deserve it one bit, but by His Grace, he has given me the very best.

The reason I have decided to write this blog is to share some of the blessings, thoughts, meditations and memories from my walk in His Light.  I have often wanted to share memories when I find or see photos of loved ones or events from our life as a family.  Sometimes I read or receive words I would like to share with friends and anyone who is interested in reading them.  I simply ask you to overlook my grammatical and writing errors for even though I do have an education, I like to talk and share faster than write and I often overlook errors. 

My plan is to write from things happening in my life in it's various circles.  Check in from time to time and you will see what I mean.  You will be hearing about some memories about a few family members whose photos I recently found, about my sister's amazing gift for cooking, maybe even my daughter's similar gift.  About the food distribution project my church has initiated, special events, healings, conferences, and lots of church related things going on in my world.  I have a few hobbies I will probably share and perhaps a book review or movie review or two.  You will hear about my grandbaby and the new one soon to make her appearance.  Well, who knows, but I trust that you will be able to receive a blessing and perhaps a few laughs from my blog and that you will send me comments and ideas. 

I look forward to sharing with you.   Jeannee